Woman with a PhD insists her 25-year-old date call her "Doctor Michelle" at all times: 'Is this normal when dating a Doctor?'

JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor

Aug 3, 2026 2:00 PM EDT

Is it normal to ask someone to call you "doctor" at all times?

Being a doctor of any kind is an accomplishment. You had to put in a lot of work and effort in order to earn that title, and you probably don't take it lightly. You're proud of yourself for having completed such an amazing feat, and you want to reap its full benefits. Perhaps in your work, you ask your clients and coworkers to call you by your title. After all, you've earned that right in a professional setting, and those titles can help clarify professional boundaries. But what about in your personal life? Do you extend that same boundary with the people in your life outside of work? That's the question that came up in this story from someone who was dating a woman who insisted on using that title at all times.

In dating, you meet all sorts of people. They might be folks you would have never encountered in any other setting, but when you're looking for love, you find all sorts in your path. This is one of the fun things about dating. You get to know people and have access to their knowledge and quirks and eccentricities. Even if it isn't love, you probably learned something along the way. The young man in this story met someone who had a particularity that he had never encountered before. She never let him call her by her first name. It threw him for a loop, and he wasn't quite sure what to do about it.

*^{The people in this photo are models}*
*A woman with coffee sits across from a man on a date*

Person I started seeing still won't let me call her by her first name.

I (25 M) Started seeing someone, let's call her "Dr Michelle". I have liked her so far and we met at a bart we were both alone. We've been seeing each other at least a few times a week for the past month but on the first date she asked that I refer to her as

"Dr. Michelle" as opposed to just "Michelle". I thought it was kind of cool at first I- I know she worked hard for her degree and her job as a university professor is tough AF. However, (and please don't k I me for sounding like a toxic male), I feel like having to call her Dr. has created some

level of an imbalance before the relationship barely started. She explained that I could not not call her by her first name once we get married. I jokingly asked if I could at least start calling her by her first name once we get engaged and I think that joke upset her. Does anyone have any advice?? Is this normal when dating a Doctor? I don't want to come off like an a hole she's pretty bada and I like where things are going.

Badluckwithlove This sounds like an episode of Seinfeld where she wasn't allowed to call him by his first name but only by "maestro" cause he was a music conductor lol

alasmyshoe As a woman if I went on a date with a man who did this I'd never see them again. If I made friends with a woman who did this I'd be like.. we don't need to be friends. It's weird. SO

Imsosadsoveryverysad That's a formal title for professional situations, which is not a date.

*^{Subjects are models representing story}*
*A man and a woman sit across from each other on a date*

Most of the problems we have in this life are pretty much the same. No matter who you are, you run into the same kinds of issues. There are tropes that we can't help but fall into. This one is a new one. This man ran into a problem that I have never heard anyone else go through. There is no road map for dealing with this kind of person. Which is why he reached out to the internet for a little bit of insight. Keep reading to see what happened.